Cormac McCarthy
 Found Guilty

   October 31, 2013 (CNN). A jury in El Paso, Texas has passed a verdict on Cormack McCarthy, author of famous novels such as The Road and No Country for Old Men.
  
   According to Jimmy Bell, the head juror, he was found guilty of the following criminal offences:

•         Not using quotation marks for dialogue. His argument that he saw no reason to "blot the page up with weird little marks" was quite obviously just a feeble pretext to confound, irritate and unnerve the reader.

•         Using the conjunction and profusely and up to 9 times in one single sentence. This has induced students all over the United States to imitate his paratactic style which inevitably results in bad grades at high schools and colleges.
     The head juror quoted two typical examples:
     "He parked at the gate and got out and opened it and drove through and got out and closed it again and stood listening to the silence."
     "Chigurh stepped between them and bent and pulled away the shoulder strap from the second man and swung up the nine millimeter Glock he'd been carrying and walked back out to the vehicle and got in and started it and backed around and drove up out of the caldera and back toward the highway." (No Country for Old Men, Picador edition, pp. 25 & 61)

   Outside the courthouse a furious McCarthy told a reporter, I am sick and tired of this crap and I aint gonna write no books no more – and I mean it. And come to think of it – if you quote me, dont use them dumbass quotation marks!